9th May 2000 Archive

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Software can name that tune – it's a humdinger

This is never going to work. How can it?

It's enough to drive you mad. You get a tune in your head and hum it all day yet you've no idea where it came from or who sung it. After a day and a a half, you subject friends and workmates and they don't know either but suffer the same fate. The only solution is to track down the bloke-that-knows-about-music, who you haven't …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:45
Ellison: I'll get you, Gates

Laughing Larry refuses to say die

Larry Ellison refuses to let his indescribably unpopular network computer (NC) concept rest in peace. Despite being greeted with a tidal wave of apathy when first announced four years ago, Larry's one man crusade to single-handedly destroy the entire Wintel PC industry [Surely 'launch a cheap, limited function computing device …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:45
Intel: jobs for life – or else

Stop looking at those job ads and get on with your work

Chipzilla's litigious nature will again be on public display this week as its suit against Broadcom reaches the Californian courts. Intel is accusing set top box specialist Broadcom of poaching key staff and using secret knowledge in the development of new STB silicon. The case was filed on March 8 in Santa Clara County Superior …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:46
Big Blue goes all legacy-free, Chipzilla applauds

Whose legacy was it anyway?

Just $699 will buy you IBM's brand new legacy-free NetVista S40 which aims 'to deliver the performance of a conventional PC with the simplicity of a thin client.' The S40 features two PCI slots, three drive bays, and five USB ports. An optional cradle allows docking of an IBM WorkPad PC companion and other palmtops. The S40 …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:46
Artist to paint town red after sale of easel.com

Plus other domain selling sagas

An American artist planning to cash in on the domain name frenzy has put easel.com up for sale at $100,000. Punters have until May 27 to make an offer to Penelope Shenk via online auction site afternic.com. For the past three years easel.com has been used to show off paintings by Shenk and other artists. But the entrepreneur has …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:46
The Year of Disties living dangerously

2000 will see 'significant business failures'

Online sales will account for 12.5 per cent of total IT spending in Western Europe by 2003. According to IDC, rising Web sales over the next three years will have a knock-on effect on the traditional PC channel, with volume distributors and resellers seeing a slowdown in turnover growth. In 1999 around 45 per cent of the $239 …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:46
Sorry Sir, the mugger stole my homework

South London kids get Psion netBooks

South London schoolchildren may soon have the perfect hi-tech excuse for dodging homework. Three primary schools in the Brixton area are to take part in a one-year pilot scheme to see if using Psion netBooks will improve literacy, writing and maths skills. One hundred of the 800 slimline computers have been bought by Lambeth …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:46
Acer flogs PCs cheap on dealer site

Ropes in reseller support to increase Web offering

What do you do if you're a big time PC manufacturer who wants to use the Net to flog more kit at discount prices but you don't want to be seen to be screwing over your resellers? Simple, you follow Acer's example and get someone else to do it for you. The Taiwanese PC giant has got together with MPC International – a UK-based …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:50
Gates predicts Love Bug Apocalypse if MS broken up

MS on Trial War, famine, pestilence, death, Eudora Pro...

Global virus armageddon will be the result of the breakup of Microsoft, "writes" Bill Gates in this week's Time magazine, due to go on sale today. Or very nearly, anyway; you may well wonder how the hell he makes that one out. It's simple, really, as Bill, or whoever knee-jerked the piece out so swiftly, explains. The front line …

Business 9 May 2000, 09:51
Katmai back from the dead

We wibble round the lonesome Web

Thanks to JC's for pointing us to this most interesting piece on Real World Technologies, which suggests that the Katmai core from Intel is set to burst through the turf in the cemetery and come back from the dead. You may recall a similar thing happened earlier this year with Intel's Pentium II. You can't put this core down, it …

Business 9 May 2000, 10:01
IHATEYOU Virus sweeps through BOFH Land

Episode 18 It's nasty. Very nasty

b>BOFH 2000: Episode 18 It's not even midday when the boss trundles into the office when I'm barely into my morning paper. True, I'm a bit behind - having taken a reasonable amount of time out to examine the exceptional colour rendition that can be achieved these days on low grade paper. "This page three girl is so lifelike you …

BOFH 9 May 2000, 10:01
What is to be done about Cybersafety for Kids?

It's the adults wot need educating

Education is the key to protecting children on the Internet - but in most cases, it's adults that need the schooling, not the kids. That was one of the main themes of a meeting held in the House of Lords yesterday which brought together children's charities, police and researchers to discuss child safety online. Although nothing …

Business 9 May 2000, 10:01
HP makes frenzied pizza attack on Sun

Piranha range to bite McNealy's butt

In a bid to wrench market share from Unix competitors IBM and Sun, HP today introduced two pizza-sized entry-level servers - dubbed the Piranha family - bundled with Nokia WAP server and a number of other software apps and services. The A400 and A500 line of servers, which stack up to 20 in a rack, are one-way and two-way slim …

Business 9 May 2000, 10:03
Your Privacy and The Register

What we do with personal data that we've recorded

The Register believes in the importance of keeping readers' personal information personal. For that reason, the site does not use cookies, and while a user's IP address is recorded by our server - as all Web servers do - we use this information solely for monitoring the volume of traffic the site receives and measuring the …

Site News 9 May 2000, 10:54
Official Register 2000 PR tariff

So now you know how we make our money

This is the updated Register PR tariff. We are still The Corruptibles... For £10,000 we will write anything you like on our site. For £15,000 we will remove any story from our site. Fancy an Editors' Award for your very dull product? Simply rush your free sample to us (no WAP phones, please) and a highly sought after …

Bootnotes 9 May 2000, 11:03
The quick guide to Register jargon

Chipzilla, The Big Q, and the rest

The Register has gained so many readers this year that we've prepared a rough guide to the jargon we use, after receiving a couple of emails asking us what words like Chipzilla and The Big Q mean. Beast of Redmond, The Microsoft. 'Nuff (enough) said. Caminogate Camino was Intel's codename for the i820 chipset. The "gate" …

Bootnotes 9 May 2000, 11:06
Register channel hits MyNetscape

Read our headlines in your MyNetscape homepage

If you're a MyNetscape user, you can now view Register headlines by adding our channel to your MyNetscape homepage. Simply click on the ADD REGISTER CHANNEL link below and your browser will automatically install The Register's channel for immediate viewing. If you don't have a MyNetcenter homepage, you'll be asked to set one up …

Business 9 May 2000, 11:06
The Register MacOS Sherlock Plug-in

Download to search The Register from your Mac

Mac-based Register readers can now search the site using Apple's Sherlock technology. Simply click on the Download Now link below, if necessary decode the file using Stuffit Expander 5 and place the file register.src on your Mac's closed System Folder icon. Fire up Sherlock from the Apple menu, click on the Search Internet tab, …

Business 9 May 2000, 11:13
Itanium to crystallise PC firms' Intel phobia

May the lord have Merced on us

Systems from a spate of PC vendors sporting Intel's 64-bit Itanium processor are still on track but the firm's own up and coming Lion system is may end up competing with better known brands from the likes of Compaq, HP and IBM. Intel is readying versions of its Lion box which will be put in place at server farms across the world …

Business 9 May 2000, 11:40
Internet Luvvie wanted for Cabinet Office

Never mind the salary, feel the influence

The Government is looking to recruit an Internet luvvie to head up its New Media Team in the Cabinet Office. According to an ad posted on Guardian Unlimited, the job comes burdened with responsibility. "You'll be known throughout Whitehall and the wider public sector not just for taking on a unique job, but for offering advice …

Business 9 May 2000, 11:46
Antfactory fund nets $350m investment

If bees make honey, do ants make money?

Internet incubator fund antfactory has scored a $350 million deal with three top flight venture capital firms. The three - JH Whitney, CVC Capital Partners and Citicorp Venture Capital - are among the largest private equity companies in the world and JH Whitney was one of the original founders of antfactory in 1999. CVC and …

Business 9 May 2000, 11:46
Fujitsu touts faster, sleeker hard drives

Well 'ard

Fujitsu is to add two faster and sleeker hard drive ranges to its existing product offerings. Shipments of the MAH3xxx and MAJ3xxx series will start at the end of the second quarter. The manufacturer claims the MAJ series offers the industry's fastest maximum internal data transfer rate – moving up to 62.25 MB of information per …

Business 9 May 2000, 11:46
Napster loses preliminary hearing

Must answer record industry charges, rules judge

Controversial software developer Napster yesterday heard that the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) does indeed have a case it must answer. A California District Court judge denied Napster's request that the RIAA's copyright infringement case was without merit and should be chucked out of court. Napster's argument …

Business 9 May 2000, 13:26
This is the reality of e-government

Cabinet adviser and seasoned government minister shed light

IMG SRC="http://www.theregister.co.uk/images/adverts/blaircro.gif" ALIGN="left">Rarely has a week gone by in the last six months when a government minister hasn't held up some venture, software, partnership or proposal as yet another example of what New Labour is doing to thrust the UK into the digital world. For the most part, …

Business 9 May 2000, 13:38
Altavista UK still hot for Free ISP

Rumour mill spits out duds

AltaVista still intends to launch its "free ISP" despite mounting speculation that the Webco is getting cold feet. A spokeswoman for the company said today that when AltaVista announced its intention to launch an unmetered service, it gave itself three months to do so. The three months expires on 6 June, so, by rights, AltaVista …

Business 9 May 2000, 13:38
Love Bug suspect released into the wild

Not enough evidence

Love Bug suspect Reonel Ramones has been released from police custody pending further enquiries. The 27-year-old bank employee was arrested by the Philippine National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) yesterday but the authorities claim they don't have enough evidence to keep him in custody. Ramones is to report to the authorities …

Business 9 May 2000, 13:38
Bill's local paper lashes ‘Napoleon’ Gates for tantrum tactics

MS on Trial But he's apparently feeling sorry - for himself

Bill Gates' "combativeness" is being cited by Microsoft employees at Fort Redmond as having hurt Microsoft, the Seattle Times is reporting in an extended piece of psychoanalysis. And right now, according to insiders quoted by the paper, Gates is "angry and bitter at meetings," feels very sorry for himself, and his demeanour is …

Business 9 May 2000, 13:38
The Crap Wap Rap

One in four sites no good

Just over a quarter of Wap sites tested independently contain "serious errors", which would prevent consumers from seeing pages or successfully completing transactions. The tests on 50 sites ranging from Wap start-ups to multi-nationals were carried out by Anywhereyougo, and demonstrate that this new technology may be in for a …

Business 9 May 2000, 13:38
Networking and Web Links

The sites we like

Net sites, mostly money-oriented Need to Know Worth watching - we do at The Reg CUT The Campaign for Unmetered Telecommunications These guys have caught BT on the back-foot Nua You want statistics? Boy have these guys got statistics First Tuesday VCs: calling all Net entrepreneurs Fletcher Research A bit like Nua, but without …

Register Links 9 May 2000, 13:57
News Links

The sites we like

Slashdot org Needs no further introduction MacWeek.com Essential site for all matters Macintosh Newsnow British news aggregator, accumulating stuff from far too many IT sites these days - but we still like it Newslinx US aggregator specialising in Net and software news. Editorial intelligence at work here Geek Boys Select your …

Register Links 9 May 2000, 13:57
Links for PC Gamers

The sites we like

Blues News Hardcore site for teched-up gamers Voodoo Extreme A world where games and hardware collides BarrysWorld Britain's best gamers' site PowerVR Revolution Great gaming site - check it out AGN HardwareIt's a hardware/gamer thing Snipers Alley One-stop UK gaming shop Any dud or dead links? Email us here

Register Links 9 May 2000, 13:57
Hardware and Chip Links

The sites we like

Tom's Hardware Guide The doc gets under Intel's skin Anand's Technical Page Reviews of latest hardware platforms here Sysopt Get your screwdrivers out... Sharky Extreme Chip stuff with a games twist Ars Technica More good information, benchmarks, and reviews Ace's Hardware Hardcore href= "http://www.hardocp.com" target=" …

Register Links 9 May 2000, 13:57
Software Links

The sites we like

Linux Today Probably the most thoughtful Linux news site around Windows 98 Central News, views, reviews and downloads WinDrivers The "No.1 Resource for Windows/Drivers". Who are we to disagree? ActiveWindows Well informed, broadly pro-Microsoft but very independent site IT-analysis.com Analysts who know what they're talking …

Register Links 9 May 2000, 13:57
Price/Product Comparison Links

The sites we like

The IT Network Enormous IT product comparison database. Computerprices.co.uk British and you want to buy a PC? Check out all the prices here Any dud or dead links? Email us here

Register Links 9 May 2000, 13:57
Child Pornography

From fiddlers to filters...

Paedophile Net Charges and Convictions Child porn protection and civil liberties Child-protection Software AOL damns Which? kiddie filter slams Porn, drugs and bomb-making sites slip through kiddie filters ®

Register Full Coverage 9 May 2000, 14:13
Firm invents pussy detection software

Cat paws software is the bee's knees

Gotta a problem with your pussy messing up your keyboard? Does the thought of your moggy spoiling your beautiful Excel worksheet give you the cobblewobbles? If so, help is at hand, unless this is all a horrible spoof, of course. A Swedish reader sends news of PawSense, software which can apparently tell when a pedigree or …

Media 9 May 2000, 14:30
Flame Of The Week CeBIT special

Lazy show organisers have let down exhibitors & public

On the back of the brouhaha surrounding CeBIT's decision that online journalists can't be accredited and therefore shouldn't be allowed into the show, we received this email from one of our readers. It was sent to the CeBIT organisers and cc'd to us, Tom's Hardware and ZDNet. I am writing this letter to show my disgust at your …

Flame of the Week 9 May 2000, 14:31
LinuxOne doing better than Register

Are we mad?

We accused LinuxOne of being Cheeky Monkeys for ripping off our Flame of The Week. We think it's dumb to try to turn flames into an orderly competition, with posting rules and all. This writer disagrees. From: Anders Rosendal Date: 14 February 2000 07:27 Subject: Are you mad? Flame of the week is the first thing anyone would …

Flame of the Week 9 May 2000, 14:32
BOFH goes to Hollywood

Episode 4 Medical drama unfolds

BOFH 2000: Episode 4 So I'm not in a particularly good mood - but what's new? I go to sign up for a First Aid refresher course (in my business it pays to be on the safe side -- you never know when something might go right). Only to find out that I'm not permitted to go because the ratio of First Aid people to staff is already …

BOFH 9 May 2000, 14:34
EU antitrust probe into Win2k threatens MS core strategy

MS new Trial? Strikes at heart of integration and leverage policies

Today's announcement of an EU antitrust investigation into Windows 2000 presents Microsoft with a potential nightmare scenario, and ends Europe's policy of 'armed neutrality' when it comes to Redmond. Although sporadic complaints have emerged in individual European countries, the European Commission has for the past couple of …

Software 9 May 2000, 14:34
Float announced for Lastminute.com

We bring you the details -- well, some of them

Lastminute.com is to float its business on the Stock Exchange and NASDAQ next month, the outfit announced today. One of Britain's top e-businesses, Lastminute.com is reported to be valued at more than £400 million, although this has been widely tipped for some time now. The float would make its founders, Brent Hoberman and …

Business 9 May 2000, 14:35
How meaningful are Lastminute.com registration numbers?

Letter from five year-old's dad asks

I would take lastminute.com subscriber numbers with a huge pinch of salt. My daughter Heather appears to be on their list as we found out when we got an email from them. She is five years old and has never visited that site. Neither has anyone else in our family -- the only place this email address has ever existed was on my …

Business 9 May 2000, 14:35
Chipzilla squats on tariff towers

Column Is Intel's intent to win hearts, minds or just wallets?

US body the International Trade Commission (ITC) will investigate whether wanna-be chip firm Via is breaching trade laws by importing its chipsets, following a complaint by Intel, it announced earlier this week. Well, Intel sure knows how to make friends in the industry, doesn't it? The investigation centres on whether Via, …

Channel 9 May 2000, 14:35
Intel Developer Forum: Spring 2000

Full coverage

14 Feb 2000 Proto-Itaniums reach proto-Forum Developers urged to port apps to Willamette Intel: Memory strategy unchanged (cough) Solaris for Itanium looking dead flakey Intel's Grove: AMD, Via good for PC industry 15 Feb 2000 AMD becomes Cheapzilla Rambus share price goes absolutely crackers Yu rips opens Willamette kimono …

Register Full Coverage 9 May 2000, 14:36
BOFH unmasks the Printer Smasher

Episode 3 Workplace disenfranchised user complex

BOFH 2000 No.3 So I'm into the swing of things at the new workplace and everything seems to be running as bad as expected. The company's computing and networking is so old it qualifies for a pension (and disability too). The new helldesk people are everything we hoped for and less, as is continually proven by their penchant …

BOFH 9 May 2000, 14:36
Your Privacy and The Register

intro

The Register believes in the importance of keeping readers' personal information personal. For that reason, the site does not use cookies, and while a user's IP address is recorded by our server -- as all Web servers do -- we use this information solely for monitoring the volume of traffic the site receives and measuring the …

Site News 9 May 2000, 14:37
Channel Flannel Extra

What the channel papers say

Haven't got time to read this week's Computer Reseller News or MicroScope? Don't worry, we've read 'em for you. Here's our round-up of some of the channel weeklies' best stories. MicroScope Ideal Hardware is about to fall into the clutches of Ingram Micro. Sources claimed the US distributor was in talks to buy Ideal, InterX's …

Business 9 May 2000, 14:37
Virgin carries out payment freeze threat

Holds £50m to ransom

Virgin is witholding £50 million in payments owing to record labels, in its campaign to secure better discount terms for the Virgin Our price retail chain, The Sunday Times reports. The music companies have cut off supplies to Virgin, in retaliation, the paper says. Virgin claims it is being offered worse margins than upstart …

Broadband 9 May 2000, 14:37
System builders back Athlon 850

AMD beating Intel in MHz race

Carrera, Evesham Micros, Mesh and Time Computers will be among PC builders launching machines with AMD's 850MHz Athlon chip. Carrera is adding an 850MHz machine to its existing Octan range of Athlon machines from the chip's launch date of 14 February. Carrera's PC will have 128MB memory, 20GB hard drive, 19in monitor and will …

Small Biz 9 May 2000, 14:37
Two many typos, apostrophes, underlines

Volvos suck, never mind palms..

What is wrong with you!!! Flame of the week, you say -- it is now 11 days since the last one! Don't you offend enough people? Get ruder or something. There must be some opinionated bigots out there to annoy -- try dumping on palm pilots, chat rooms, volvos, bad grammar, misuse of the apostrophe, anything (i've got a little list …

Flame of the Week 9 May 2000, 14:38
Sack Pete Sherriff now

Warning this contains swear words and spelling mistakes

We thought the Canadian educational system could do better than this: our erudite author hails from the University of Manitoba, or at least his email address does. Not an English major, we think. From: author Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2000, 2:02:02 PM Subject: Pete Sharriff Pete Sharrif writes the most incridible shit! " …

Flame of the Week 9 May 2000, 14:38
I'm screaming at you, you moron

Warning No swear words in this one

A double flame this time round Part I I was shocked to read in your rag today that Intel was not shipping any Pentium III's in February. This is liable. I have sent the story to Intel. I hope they sue the pants off this piece of crap magazine. I've do research for clients on computer companies and the like, and your …

Flame of the Week 9 May 2000, 14:38
Wanted: Bastard Operators to man helldesk

Episode 2 BOFH meets the troops. He's not impressed

BOFH 2000 No.2 So the PFY has joined me at my new workplace after being "let go" on the grounds of "technical differences". Apparently, he thought the CEO's laptop would survive the drop from the boardroom window, and everyone else didn't. True, he was correct... thanks to the "freak" appearance of one of the more annoying …

BOFH 9 May 2000, 14:38
Telinco chairman picks up £90m

Cheesy Cheshire grins all round after World Online deal

E-ntrepreneur Chris Matthews has walked away with a cool £90 million from the sale of Telinco Networks to World Online. The founder and former chairman -- who started the company on just £16,000 -- is to invest the cash in a number of e-commerce ventures, led by his shopping portal, hoojit.com. It's likely his new company will …

Financial News 9 May 2000, 14:38
C'mon readers, let's all be James Bond

Crack the UK secret service site code and win a life in the shadows

A Register reader claims to have cracked part of the code on a British secret service recruitment site. Those who can crack the code can have a shot at becoming a spy for Britain. Agent X, as we like to call him, says he took just five minutes to find one of the five codes hidden on the secret squirrel site. Apparently, the text …

Business 9 May 2000, 14:38
Children to become Time-modelled citizens

Sponsored, of course

So what does it take to be a good citizen? The government thinks it knows the answer -- and it's revealing all on a sponsored website aimed for children. Launched by David Blunkett, timeforcitizenship.com deliver a "citizenship curriculum" to offer children the chance to stimulate discussion and take action to become involved in …

Media 9 May 2000, 14:39
Site News Register headlines now available in Palm format

Never miss a story -- even when you're on the move

All you Palm users asked us for it, so here it is: a palmtop-oriented version of The Register's daily news story index. Just point your browser -- we recommend AvantGo, but any other palmtop Web browser should work just fine -- to http://www.theregister.co.uk/tonys/palm.html and you'll get all our headlines, formatted for your …

Site News 9 May 2000, 14:39
UK telecoms market fair, Oftel claims

Time to cut the red tape as watchdog settles down for a nap

Oftel has announced that it now considers the UK telecoms market to be open and competitive, and that the time has come for the watchdog to scale down its work. According to a statement that came out of Reuters today, Oftel wants to shift its focus to championing the needs of the consumer and promoting a spirit of self- …

Data Networking 9 May 2000, 14:40
BOFH returns from the dead

Episode 1 Y2K1: He's mean, he's moody, he's less than magnificent

The Bastard Operator from Hell has returned from the tomb with the boss and PFY (Pimply-Faced Youth) in tow. BOFH newbies can tune into previous episodes here. So let's get cracking. BOFH 2000 No. 1 It's still dark as I let myself back into my soon-to-be-EX workplace with a spare "backup" access card and stroll into the office …

BOFH 9 May 2000, 14:40
How much is IX.com worth and why is IX.de so cross?

German computer mag faces stock exchange steamroller

The planned Frankfurt-London stock exchange merger may face legal action over its chosen name iX. The name already belongs to a German computer magazine, which has been using the title for 12 years. It also has a Web site called ix.de, which has been in use since 1991. iX's Hanover-based publisher Verlag Heinz Heise said …

Business 9 May 2000, 16:50
Halifax tries to patent banking system

And corners UK WAP Phone market

The Halifax has announced details about its soon-to-be-launched e-bank. At the heart of the service from Intelligent Finance (IF) - a division of Halifax plc - is the patent-pending Intelligent Banking, described by the bank as a "unique money management system". According to IF, the Intelligent Banking system will connect …

Business 9 May 2000, 16:50
BT 0345, 0645, 0845 and 0800 numbers fall over

Normal service now resumed

BT has admitted that part of its network fell over today mirroring a massive outage that crippled the telco in February. Today's problems hit 0345, 0645, 0845 and 0800 number platforms. These services are operational again, the telco has confirmed. A number of businesses have been affected by the downtime but BT is too coy to …

Business 9 May 2000, 16:50
Intel says Sun just isn't trying hard enough

Solaris 'very unlikely' to ship with first Itanium chips next month

New Intel Europe Merced/Itanium supremo, Pierre Mirjolet, today reiterated claims that Sun wasn't trying hard enough to get Solaris running on the first Intel 64-bit processors due for launch next month. Mike Fister, Intel vice president and general manager of the Enterprise Server Group, speaking at a press conference in Tokyo …

Business 9 May 2000, 16:50
Dixons confirms Freeserve For Sale option

And more tales from The Bubble Economy

9 May 2000 Shares in Dixons jumped 34p in early morning trading today following last night's announcement by the electrical retailer confirming it was considering selling its stake in Freeserve. Dixons was responding to mounting speculation that it was gearing itself up for the sale. Dixons owns 80 per cent of monster ISP, …

Business 9 May 2000, 16:53