Feeds

Vacancy: SENIOR JAVA – WAP – LONDON

Candidates with spelling and grammar ability need not apply

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Mobile application security vulnerability report

New media is an exciting new area. So exciting that the headhunters tasked with matching candidates to the whizzo new opportunities frequently become incoherent with excitement whilst compiling their job ads. Take for example the following fine example of English prose styling, reproduced exactly as it appeared on a well-known recruitment website: "client is a dynamic E-commerce start up they have commisioned to develop a WAP porthole for one of Europes largest mobile telecommunications suppliers. Minimum 2yrs Java - server side experince must have a good knowledge of Oracle/Solaris client is a dynamic E-commerce start up they have commisioned to develop a WAP porthole for one of Europes largest mobile telecommunications suppliers. They have been heavily backed by investors and are planning to launch in early July. They are looking for a e-commerce guru skills - min 5yrs commercial experience of which 3 should be in an e-commerce environment. Minimum 2yrs Java - server side experince must have a good knowledge of Oracle/Solaris - any knowledge of XML /LDAP / XSL desirable Add Will be developing WAP porthole incorporating - sports - news - finance and all other interests. You will be at the forefront of the developement team. This is a really exciting opportunity to become an intergral part of one of the industries most dynamic WAP projects - brilliant pack offering up to 130000 worth of shares for this position swell as a salary of up to 45k." What The Register believes we have here is a sophisticated aptitude test to attract skilled sub-editors to an organisation sadly in need of grammatical and spelling skills. If any readers understand what the ad is about, or are indeed interested in probing WAP portholes, email us and we'll pass your details on to the headhunter in question for a modest 10 per cent commission. ®

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE
4,000 pixels is niche now... Don't say we didn't warn you
BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
Auntie tight-lipped as major outage rolls on
iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms
But never fear fanbois, you're still lapping up iPhones, Macs
Philip K Dick 'Nazi alternate reality' story to be made into TV series
Amazon Studios, Ridley Scott firm to produce The Man in the High Castle
Amazon Reveals One Weird Trick: A Loss On Almost $20bn In Sales
Investors really hate it: Share price plunge as growth SLOWS in key AWS division
Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle
Music gear giant seeks some of that sweet, sweet Apple pie
There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES
Even France's mega subsidies don't stop US content onslaught
You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary
And we shall go about telling people you smell. No, not really
Too many IT conferences to cover? MICROSOFT to the RESCUE!
Yet more word of cuts emerges from Redmond
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.