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Vacancy: SENIOR JAVA – WAP – LONDON

Candidates with spelling and grammar ability need not apply

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

New media is an exciting new area. So exciting that the headhunters tasked with matching candidates to the whizzo new opportunities frequently become incoherent with excitement whilst compiling their job ads. Take for example the following fine example of English prose styling, reproduced exactly as it appeared on a well-known recruitment website: "client is a dynamic E-commerce start up they have commisioned to develop a WAP porthole for one of Europes largest mobile telecommunications suppliers. Minimum 2yrs Java - server side experince must have a good knowledge of Oracle/Solaris client is a dynamic E-commerce start up they have commisioned to develop a WAP porthole for one of Europes largest mobile telecommunications suppliers. They have been heavily backed by investors and are planning to launch in early July. They are looking for a e-commerce guru skills - min 5yrs commercial experience of which 3 should be in an e-commerce environment. Minimum 2yrs Java - server side experince must have a good knowledge of Oracle/Solaris - any knowledge of XML /LDAP / XSL desirable Add Will be developing WAP porthole incorporating - sports - news - finance and all other interests. You will be at the forefront of the developement team. This is a really exciting opportunity to become an intergral part of one of the industries most dynamic WAP projects - brilliant pack offering up to 130000 worth of shares for this position swell as a salary of up to 45k." What The Register believes we have here is a sophisticated aptitude test to attract skilled sub-editors to an organisation sadly in need of grammatical and spelling skills. If any readers understand what the ad is about, or are indeed interested in probing WAP portholes, email us and we'll pass your details on to the headhunter in question for a modest 10 per cent commission. ®

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