Feeds

Vacancy: SENIOR JAVA – WAP – LONDON

Candidates with spelling and grammar ability need not apply

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

New media is an exciting new area. So exciting that the headhunters tasked with matching candidates to the whizzo new opportunities frequently become incoherent with excitement whilst compiling their job ads. Take for example the following fine example of English prose styling, reproduced exactly as it appeared on a well-known recruitment website: "client is a dynamic E-commerce start up they have commisioned to develop a WAP porthole for one of Europes largest mobile telecommunications suppliers. Minimum 2yrs Java - server side experince must have a good knowledge of Oracle/Solaris client is a dynamic E-commerce start up they have commisioned to develop a WAP porthole for one of Europes largest mobile telecommunications suppliers. They have been heavily backed by investors and are planning to launch in early July. They are looking for a e-commerce guru skills - min 5yrs commercial experience of which 3 should be in an e-commerce environment. Minimum 2yrs Java - server side experince must have a good knowledge of Oracle/Solaris - any knowledge of XML /LDAP / XSL desirable Add Will be developing WAP porthole incorporating - sports - news - finance and all other interests. You will be at the forefront of the developement team. This is a really exciting opportunity to become an intergral part of one of the industries most dynamic WAP projects - brilliant pack offering up to 130000 worth of shares for this position swell as a salary of up to 45k." What The Register believes we have here is a sophisticated aptitude test to attract skilled sub-editors to an organisation sadly in need of grammatical and spelling skills. If any readers understand what the ad is about, or are indeed interested in probing WAP portholes, email us and we'll pass your details on to the headhunter in question for a modest 10 per cent commission. ®

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Record labels sue Pandora over vintage song royalties
Companies want payout on recordings made before 1972
Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley: Ousting Steve Jobs 'was a mistake'
Twenty-nine years later, post-Pepsi exec has flat-forehead moment
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
Number crunching suggests Yahoo! US is worth less than nothing
China and Japan holdings worth more than entire company
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.