Feeds

Orange man talks crap

Not Paisley, but Snook

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Hans Snook, boss of mobile phone outfit Orange, literally spills his guts in an extraordinary interview in UK broadsheet the Sunday Telegraph. The new, lightweight Snook extols the virtues of colonic irrigation, claiming that the simple expedient of having five gallons of purified water, mixed with vinegar and caffeine [sounds like the office coffee machine - Ed] pumped up one's bottom can dislodge up to 40 pounds of... er... crap. Snook had just returned from a two-week fasting holiday in Thailand, where he had his enlightening - or at the very least lightening - experience. "You massage your stomach, feel it gulping around inside you and when you can't hold it in anymore, you just let it out." Er, thanks for sharing that with us, Hans. Commenting on Orange's two takeovers in the last six months - the first by Mannesmann and the second by Vodafone when it snapped up the German company - Snook is obviously enjoying the irony of Orange now being owned by its largest UK mobile phone rival. "Vodafone has to support us financially," he says gleefully. "So we've been plotting, thinking about what we could buy that would cost billions of pounds." Dewy-eyed Dr Spinola adds: ICL, once the great white hope of the UK's computer industry, is now a mere shadow of its former self. A company once rightly lauded for technical innovation - sadly linked with rather less successful marketing - in the 70s and 80s, it has suffered the ignominy of takeovers by STC and Fujitsu and still carries the taint of being bailed out by government loan guarantees. But if we look at the people running some of the world's top companies, we will find a common denominator: BT's Sir Peter Bonfield, Vodafone's Chris Gent and Orange's Hans Snook all worked together at ICL in the mid-80s, before being lured away to the wonderful world of telecomms. The tantalising question raised here is what would have happened had these three extremely able (and personable) persons stuck in at ICL? ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Inequality increasing? BOLLOCKS! You heard me: 'Screw the 1%'
There's morality and then there's economics ...
Spies, avert eyes! Tim Berners-Lee demands a UK digital bill of rights
Lobbies tetchy MPs 'to end indiscriminate online surveillance'
Google hits back at 'Dear Rupert' over search dominance claims
Choc Factory sniffs: 'We're not pirate-lovers - also, you publish The Sun'
While you queued for an iPhone 6, Apple's Cook sold shares worth $35m
Right before the stock took a 3.8% dive amid bent and broken mobe drama
How the FLAC do I tell MP3s from lossless audio?
Can you hear the difference? Can anyone?
4chan outraged by Emma Watson nudie photo leak SCAM
In the immortal words of Shaggy, it wasn't me us ... amirite?
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.