18th April 2000 Archive

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Vacancy: SENIOR JAVA – WAP – LONDON

Candidates with spelling and grammar ability need not apply

New media is an exciting new area. So exciting that the headhunters tasked with matching candidates to the whizzo new opportunities frequently become incoherent with excitement whilst compiling their job ads. Take for example the following fine example of English prose styling, reproduced exactly as it appeared on a well-known …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 06:06
Cough up you suckers, your staff want to play with their PDAs

Big companies, big phone bills

The number of Net users in the US using cell phones for wireless data applications is set to leap by a massive 75 per cent within the next year, according to research by Cap Gemini America and b2b e-outfit, Corechange. Research suggests that only three per cent of US Internauts currently use wireless gizmos to access data. The …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 06:21
Dotcom CEOs are vapid, empty, shallow – and that's the good ones

You just can't get the staff

The future of many dot coms is "hollow.com", according to George Colony, the chairman of Forrester Research. They are about to be exposed for what they are, says Colony: vapid, shallow and hollow. Forrester has interviewed 2,500 CEOs - 20 per cent of whom were running dotcoms - and the conclusion was that many dotcom CEOs are of …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 06:27
Scottish firm suffers eternal damnation for auction of popesfuneral.com

Marching season, already?

A Scottish start-up has angered the Church by trying to flog URL thepopesfuneral.com through its online auction site. Domain Hypermarket, a domain name auction house launched last week, has stuck a £15,000 price tag on the address on its domainhypermarket.com Web site. The Glasgow-based company is also asking £5,000 for …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 06:35
World+Dog barks at Nasdaq rout

Crash Register Brokers with the willies get balls back

Before Nasdaq opened yesterday, we wrote about the panic that set in on the US markets last week, and openly wondered what the fuss was all about. So this morning, as promised, we are reprising our story with what actually happened when the markets opened. "CPQ Compaq's share price fell by $1.625 on Friday to close at $25. That …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 09:23
Hermit emerges to check on Register

True democracy incubated at Vulture Central

In a show of reader empowerment (without you, we're nothing [small tear trickles down feathered cheek]), resident bad boy Mike Magee has persuaded loyal subject Hoodview to become co-moderator on our bulletin board. It's a case of care in the (Web) community and, of course, practicality - Hoodview (aka Hermit) actually reads the …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 09:26
Internet comes to an end

Book shuts on Wibbly Wobbly Web

You thought it would never happen, but The Register now has confirmation that there is an end to the seemingly endless World Wide Web. Go here to see the very last page on the Internet. But a reader points out that this is a false ending, seeing as it even has a link out. Instead, he suggests the real end of the Internet can be …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 09:30
Via-S3 deal won't solve Intel rift

Lawyers rub their hands in glee

The complex deal brokered between Via and S3 is unlikely to put an end to the legal wrangling kicked off by chip giant Intel last year. Sources close to S3 told The Register today that despite the extensive cross-licensing deals that exist between it an Intel, Via will not get respite despite its acquisition of the firm. The …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 10:10
Orange man talks crap

Not Paisley, but Snook

Hans Snook, boss of mobile phone outfit Orange, literally spills his guts in an extraordinary interview in UK broadsheet the Sunday Telegraph. The new, lightweight Snook extols the virtues of colonic irrigation, claiming that the simple expedient of having five gallons of purified water, mixed with vinegar and caffeine [sounds …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 10:19
Microsoft creates new VPs, new job titles, new share options

Life's just one big holiday at Microsoft

Caring, sharing Microsoft is giving away shares, promoting folks left right and centre, and even inventing new job titles for people who don't want to be promoted. In a move reminiscent of a Moonie mass wedding, the Beast of Redmond has just created 30 new vice-presidents and handed them options on up to 200,000 shares - worth a …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 10:23
STMicroelectronics sees profits leap in Q1

Unprecedented demand

French chip maker STMicroelectronics saw first quarter profit more than double, thanks to demand for mobile phones, cars and computer modems. Pre-tax profit grew to $238.4 million for the three months ended April 1, 2000, from $105.1 million for the same period the previous year. Sales rose 53 per cent to $1.7 billion from $1.1 …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 10:37
Microsoft: World spins in wrong direction

We have a problem, emission control

Our planet has a problem and Microsoft is here to tell you all about it and to offer a fix to the glitch. According to the Microsoft support forum, here, the world is spinning in the wrong direction. The boffins at MS support have confirmed there is a problem. They say in a status report: "Microsoft has confirmed this to be a …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 10:40
Oftel calls for comment on UK's e-future

Tell the Winged Watchdog just what you think

Oftel, the Winged Watchdog, and the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) are to canvas the e-industry on the future of e-commerce and what can be done to promote its development. The exercise is in response to a government report, e-commerce@its.best.uk, and seeks to identify barriers to competition and what can be done to overcome them …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 11:21
Northamber boss sues Rolls Royce

Bentley hung up to dry like a kipper

David Phillips, chairman of distributor Northamber, is suing Rolls Royce after the company hung his £200,000 Bentley on a wall for two weeks. Phillips was forced to send the green Continental back to the garage three times for a string of faults, including rattling panels, oil leaks, dodgy suspension and poor steering. Mechanics …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 12:09
UK Linux show host denies Debian stand space

'If we give one non-profit body a free stand, everyone will want one,' says organiser

British Linux users have slammed IT Events, organiser of the UK's upcoming Linux Expo 2000 show, for refusing to allow Debian to exhibit at the show, despite claiming that the exhibition represents all the major Linux distributions. "Linux Expo 2000 claims to have all the major players - without Debian, it doesn't," said one UK …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 12:16
FBI admits loss of ‘top secret’ laptop

Mulder and Scully on the case

The FBI is frantically hunting for a lost laptop containing top-secret (X?) files. The computer went missing from a conference room in the US State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research two months ago. The FBI still hasn't found the culprits responsible or recovered the machine, and yesterday said it had launched an …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 12:19
The eyes have IT

See your way to cheaper contact lenses

Remember the halcyon days before Wap and b2b, when people used the low setup cost of the internet to sell the same goods cheaper? Well, for a limited time only, they're back. Launching under the auspices of rip-off Britain, 2eyes.co.uk says it will undercut any contact lens seller in Britain and match any promotional prices, …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 12:38
WH Smith fined for software theft

Shoplifters can cite inadequate procedures, next time they're caught

WH Smith Online has been fined around £4000 for using pirated software on its computer network. The Business Software Alliance (BSA) stamped on the Web arm of the retailer giant after getting an email tip-off from an unrevealed source earlier this year. An investigation revealed the company had been using unlicensed software on …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 12:39
GW Bush parody Web site escapes FEC axe

Far too trifling a matter for the Commission's attention

The US Federal Elections Commission (FEC) has declined to act on a complaint from election team-mates of Texas Governor and White House hopeful George W. Bush which claimed that the operator of a parody Web site called gwbush.com was in fact campaigning and should therefore be subject to the Commission's plethora of bureaucratic …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 13:21
i-don't believe it! Council kiosks to change the world

More government guff. Hype breeds hatred

[SCENE: In government minister's (GM) chauffeur-driven Jag, 9.25am. Also in car, Secretary (S) and Press Representative (PR)] S: Okay, we've a busy day. Two trade shows, lunch with captain of industry, back to the House, photo-call with Jeremy Irons, select committee hearing. GM: What's the first trade show? S: It's at the …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 13:31
Oftel backs Worldcom BT Surftime complaints

Uncompetitive wholesale product

Oftel has slapped BT for failing to be competitive. The monster telco felt the back of the winged watchdog's paw today after it appeared to uphold a complaint by MCI Worldcom that BT's SurfTime proposals failed to offer other operators the opportunity of providing their own wholesale flat rate unmetered Net access service. MCI …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 13:44
Whistler wafts past MS security onto the Web

Second internal OS build leaked in two months

Whistler, Microsoft's next major consumer operating system, aka Windows 2001, has been leaked onto the Net - again. It's a month since it last happened, and according to the guys over at ActiveWin, the latest release is a more up-to-date version of the OS. For its part, Microsoft claimed it doesn't yet know whether that's the …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 15:10
PlayStation 2 export limit lifted

No use to missile-making rogue states after all

Japan's Ministry of Trade has decided that you can't use Sony PlayStation 2s to build missile guidance systems and the console is nothing more than "a general-purpose product" after all. Surprise, surprise. Originally, MITI had placed a restriction on the console limiting individuals from taking more than two PlayStation 2s out …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 15:53
AMD takes axe to Athlon prices

Updated It's a Jack in the Beanstalk situation

As predicted here, AMD will slash the prices of its Athlon microprocessor on 24 April, further applying pressure on Intel's margins. The cuts are a prelude to AMD's introduction of its Spitfire and Thunderbird microprocessors, now expected in June. Prices to PC manufacturers will be as follows. The 650MHz Athlon will cost $170, …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 16:30
US-UK broadband trade war threat recedes

'Warning shots across the bow'

Britain and the US aren't about to enter a bloody trade war over policies designed to bar foreign companies from competing in Britain's fledgling broadband Internet market. In true "peace in our time" style, The Register has won the assurance from a spokesman at the US Trade Representative (USTR) that the earliest it would lodge …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 16:33
RealSoftware upgrades MacOS ‘Visual Basic’ tool

RealBasic hits 2.1, many improvements included

Real Software has just begun shipping version 2.1 of RealBasic, its MacOS-based visual programming system. The update brings improvements to RealBasic's database access tools and its Windows-oriented compiler, which now supports QuickTime, drag and drop, sprite animation, floating windows, contextual menus and more features so …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 16:54
Intel recalls dodgy Cape Cod mobos

You heard it here first

Intel has confirmed to The Register that all its jinxed CC820 motherboards are now being recalled for 'reworking'. A hardware modification was identified at the end of last month that seems to fix a tendency for the mobo to hang or fail to boot. As we predicted here earlier this week, a product recall is now in progress. …

Business 18 Apr 2000, 16:56