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Sad geezer auctions himself on eBay

He's doing it for Valentine's Day - talk about a cupid stunt

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Lovesick John Alanis has put himself up for auction on eBay to try and find himself a date for Valentine's Day. Alanis -- who describes himself as 5'7", fit, and with blue eyes -- has only managed to attract $45 since bidding began last week. The auction closes tomorrow. The e-Romeo said: "The way I see it, prospective dates can bid on a romantic evening with me for February 14. "The highest bidder gets to take me out -- and spend the amount they bid -- on me!" Attempting to give potential dates an insight into his emotional side, Alanis said: "I was talking to a friend of mine (who I used to date) a few days ago, and she said something very intriguing to me: 'John, you remind me of the male character in a romance novel. "'You always seem to be doing something adventurous -- travelling all over the country, driving your business with a true, sincere passion and determination, or speaking in front of people. "'You even kind of look like a romance novel hero. You have a large chest, well-muscled arms, and a hard chin. But what I really notice about you are your piercing blue eyes. You have brooding eyes. "'Sometimes you overwhelm me with your presence, and quite frankly, sometimes you can be a real jerk.'" You ain't joking. And if you're still umming and arring about whether Alanis would make a great date, why not buy his book -- The Lazy Way to Dating Success - How to Find Your True Love From the Comfort of Your Home... in Only Minutes Per Day. Reconstructed male? No chance. ® See also: Click here for luurve

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