Feeds

Your daily PC horoscope

The twelve signs of the PC zodiac

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet

AMD You will meet a tall, elderly gentleman who so closely resembles the man from KFC that you buy a bucket of chicken before you remember you just wanted chips. Intel You will meet a tall, young gentleman who works in the spin paramedic department and attempts to give you the kiss of life even though you aren't gasping for breath. Compaq You will meet a tall, middle-aged gentleman who claims he used to be the CEO of the company and has an interesting hair style. NatSemi You will meet a tall story about how a chip called Geode is going to trash Intel. Dell You will meet a tall building that looks like a castle and is inhabited by a multimillionaire. Microsoft You will boot up your PC and discover that your hard drive keeps running out of space because of all the redundant DLLs in your C:\WINDOWS directory. You will desparately try to find out how to fix this but you will fail miserably. IBM You will meet a pair of intelligent boots walking down the sidewalk which belong to a man who looks suspiciously like a biscuit executive. Apple You will meet a very handsome and self-confident man at the Palladium theatre in the heart of London's throbbing West End and only a stone's throw from Vulture Central who will tell you about an exciting new piece of hardware called the NeXT platform. You will meet him again after Gil Amelio and Ellen Hancock leave Apple. Oracle You will meet a pair of shoes worth more than your entire wardrobe attached to the legs of a man who never seems to stop talking. HP You will meet a tall handsome woman who used to work for a company with a very strange logo and is all for diversity. Rambus Nothing will happen to you today. Computacenter You will win an award at a razzmatazz show in exciting Battersea which confirms that you are, essentially, a giant dealer. If it's your birthday today You were born on the 24th of November. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!
Redmond sporran metrics get one in the ten ring
Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer
More than 5,500 jobs could be axed if rescue mission fails
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Found inside ISIS terror chap's laptop: CELINE DION tunes
REPORT: Stash of terrorist material found in Syria Dell box
OECD lashes out at tax avoiding globocorps' location-flipping antics
You hear that, Amazon, Google, Microsoft et al?
Show us your Five-Eyes SECRETS says Privacy International
Refusal to disclose GCHQ canteen menus and prices triggers Euro Human Rights Court action
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.