New millennium will bring doom and gloom

Ziggurat smoking is injurious to your health

Letter Sirs, I am writing to complain about the lack of coverage which the press has given to the Y1K problem. The fact that the ominous portents seen in the sky and Pope Silvester's homilies on the subject have not had a public airing seems suspiciously like a cover-up. The present state of Y1K preparedness will surely lead to widespread panic when the end of the world comes on December 31, 999. Are our military being honest with us when they say that there is absolutely no danger of Trebuchets going off by accident precipitating an exchange of Greek Fire that spells the end of the Gepids? Clearly world leaders are endangering the public when they refuse to allocate sufficient alms for Te Deums. The Burgundian plan to purchase pots and pans to bang together to scare off the Minions of Hell is clearly too little, too late. Of course, with the widespread delays in the Coppermines there will be insufficient pots and pans for the Order of the Emperor's Musickers ("OEM's) to play them. If this failure of leadership persists and the world somehow does survive,I would not be surprised if, in sixty or seventy years time, London were overrun by Normans. I look to The Register to expose the issue to the light of day. Very Truly yours Robert M. Schwartz (email address supplied) ®

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