Feeds

Mobile phones going underground

Just don't try it near us...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The essential guide to IT transformation

A fantastic new £1.2 billion scheme will allow tragic cellphone users to tell their loved ones that they’re "on the train" from deep underground on the London tube. A consortium of leading telecommunication companies including Motorola and Racal Electronics will equip the entire network with the wonderful new system over the next 20 years -- pretty fast work, eh? A London Underground spokesman said the deal would mean "improved safety and reliability and the real prospect of using mobile phones in deep-level Tube stations". And exactly how will it do that, pray? If you really can't bear being unable to order a pizza for the two minutes you spend waiting on the platform, then maybe you should try therapy. Technical issues which so far remain unaddressed include: How will the average cellphone user manage to pack 15 minutes' worth of boring waffle into the average two to three minute gap between trains? If the new network is also to be used to provide up-to-the-minute customer information about what kind of leaves are delaying your train today, how will anyone be able to hear what you’re saying over the station's megawatt PA system? As the average ambient noise level in a tube train is between 80 and 90dBa, how will anyone be able to hear what you're saying whilst on the train? How will you retrieve your phone from the track after it's been chucked down there by irate fellow passengers? ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)
Clampdown on clickbait ... and El Reg is OK with this
BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV
Pureed-carrot-in-ice cream C++ surprise
Twitter: La la la, we have not heard of any NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES
If there are any on our site it is not our fault as we are not a PUBLISHER
Facebook, Google and Instagram 'worse than drugs' says Miley Cyrus
Italian boffins agree with popette's theory that haters are the real wrecking balls
Sit tight, fanbois. Apple's '$400' wearable release slips into early 2015
Sources: time to put in plenty of clock-watching for' iWatch
Facebook to let stalkers unearth buried posts with mobe search
Prepare to HAUNT your pal's back catalogue
Ex-IBM CEO John Akers dies at 79
An era disrupted by the advent of the PC
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.