Feeds

MS minions bid for Bill airtime again – attorney washes cars

Yes folks, it's the annual charity auction...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The items in this year's Microsoft charity auction are once again headed by a tour of Bill Gates' house, where the employee who makes the winning bid will gain a brief audience with His Billness. But there's some other chilling stuff there as well - how about getting chief counsel Bill Neukom to wash your car? On the other hand, why bother spending all that money now? As Bill N, known to his friends in the press as "a Microsoft attorney," has been masterminding the company's defence against the DoJ, you could just wait till after its all over then see him in his next job. If he can't wash your car, he can probably flip you a burger. But enough of cruel digressions. As we noted last year (Minions in bidding war to see Bill) Microsoft runs an annual charity auction where the staff bid stupidly huge amounts of money for all sorts of stuff. The co-ordinator last year foolishly blurted that many of them were willing to spend just to see Bill G, given that he was so busy. Last year's winning Bill bid was $42,525, and this year's might beat that. But we can't help noticing that last year they thought the tour would go for $50k. Oops. Also for sale is the "ultimate child's birthday party," in the Microsoft hardware room, which we're told houses some products that aren't on the market yet. Successful bidders should bear in mind that there's probably a good reason for that, but hey, they work for Microsoft so they know already. Or maybe they'd like a day with Microsoft's in-house art curator? Isn't it amazing that Microsoft has an art curator? The target for this year's auction is $15 million, while last year's achieved just over $12 million. Analysts more used to watching the company's quarterly numbers can confidently expect MS to beat estimates here as well. Microsoft itself matches the employees' donations, but rather cheese-paringly imposes a ceiling of $12,000 on the amount it will give per employee. Still, what a nice company...

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods
You read that right – with the proviso that it's encrypted
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.