Cyber narcotics to outwit police

Download your dope via the Net, or not -- as the case may be

Virtual reality narcotics are, err, just around the corner and the elite police forces are already worried about them, national newspaper The Observer reliably informed its readers this weekend. Users will soon implant silicon chips into their bodies and activate high-inducing hormones with radio waves or the Internet, or something. This likely possibility emerges from the fusion between technology savvy national newspapers and a rentaquote with a plausible job title -- Kevin Warwick, professor of cybernetics, Reading University. Warwick is quoted as saying: "The question is not whether virtual reality narcotics can be created, but how soon they can be put on the market." (What on earth is this man talking about? Has he been at the virtual drugs cabinet? - Ed) Fuelled by that, The Observer, in the wake of a briefing on new trends in cybercrime from elite police force the National Criminal Intelligence Service (NCIS), concluded: "Law enforcement officials are bracing themselves for the introduction of virtual reality drugs which, because they are transmitted across the Internet or using radio waves, can be taken without anyone ever needing to actually possess them." Scary. NCIS -- which is currently drawing up plans for Britain's first specialist national computer crimes unit (and, so The Register hopes, knows better) -- was quick to point out that battling science-fiction was not one of its priorities. "I have no idea where that came from,' a spokesman told The Register." ®

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