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Just shut up about the goddamn Internet, willya?

An ex-Intel geeza speaks out

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Opinion When will companies like IBM, Intel and just about every other IT supplier realise that continually banging on about the Internet isn't the way to earn more bucks, writes Pete Sherriff. Promoting any individual company's Internet expertise is great publicity for the Web, but is just as valuable for the competition as for the company forking out for the ad. When I see yet another of IBM's damned eBusiness TV ads - 'if everyone on the Web bought just one guitar, I could retire' - not only do I want to puke, I want to find out which other companies could help our sixties throwback musician sell more guitars faster and cheaper than Big Blue. Don't get me wrong - the Web is undoubtedly fab and groovy - but when I hear faceless middle aged mega corporations like IBM and Intel try to use it in a desperate bid to look hip and trendy it makes me reach for my revolver. And a special plea to Chipzilla to stop droning on about how the Pentium III is the Internet Dream Machine - it's just a faster processor with a few extra instructions, guys. A few years back, those same organisations were spouting on about how they weren't hardware suppliers, oh dearie me, no. They were solution providers. Bullshit providers, more like. When was the last time you walked into a store and asked for a solution? Probably when you went into a bar, that's when. Computer stores don't have shelves stacked with soutions, they have shelves stocked with products. So please, all you marketing folks out there in IT land, stop throwing millions of dollars on promoting the Web in generic terms and for God's sake forget about solutions. Start spending your money on convincing people that yo r products and services are better than those of your competitors. Oh, and that you'll still be in business in a year's time. That would help too. ®

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