Feeds

Brokers challenged to spank the monkey

Wall St chimp makes chump of investors

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Forget the bulls and bears of the stock market -- there's a chimp in the US who likes nothing more than making a right monkey out of Wall Street. Raven -- a six-year-old chimpanzee -- has already increased her fortune by 55 per cent over the last six months after randomly choosing a basket of Net stocks simply by tossing arras* at a dartboard. "It's all in the wrist action,"' said Raven in a statement after she hit the bull's-eye with, among others, CMGI, Lycos and Inktomi. Now she's challenging the whiz kids of Wall Street to see if they can spank the monkey. One thousand people are being given the chance to take part in the Beat The Monkey Contest to see if they can do better than Raven at picking the top performing Net stocks. The contest begins on Monday and ends on Friday 30 July. The winner will receive a Dell PC. Before you rush off and try your hand at beating the monkey, be warned -- Raven's selections made in January have doubled the performance of the Dow and the NASDAQ composite. That's not bad considering Tarzan's right hand chimp wasn't even able to participate in any of the hot new issue offerings. "There is hardly a day that goes by that a fortune isn't won or lost by some lucky or unlucky Internet investor," said Roland Perry, editor of the Internet Stock Review and creator of the MonkeyDex. "It's truly the wild, wild west. So let's see who the best man (or monkey) truly is." MonkeyDex is the Internet's first index of Net stocks picked by a real monkey. ® * arras -- Brit slang for darts, derived from arrow, pronounced arra.

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook
New iPhone biz baron points to Apple's (his) greatest successes
Lords take revenge on REVENGE PORN publishers
Jilted Johns and Jennies with busy fingers face two years inside
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Edward who? GCHQ boss dodges Snowden topic during last speech
UK spies would rather 'walk' than do 'mass surveillance'
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.