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Network Associates teams up with Nostradamus

Our man Tim Richardson witnesses the world end and he's not happy about it

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Opinion If you believe all the twaddle about Nostradamus and his notion that this weekend will see the end of the world as we know it, then you need your head examined. But, in a strange kind of way, this great prophet of doom and gloom was almost right -- he was just out by a couple of days, that's all. You see my world nearly ended today. I've just spent the best part of six hours trying to fumigate a rather vicious little bug from my PC. Not my old steam-driven thing at vulture HQ -- no, no, no -- but my own personal "personal computer" at home that cost me a flipping fortune on the tick. And all because I caught the PC equivalent of the clap from some PR bunny at Consumers International who sent me a press release full of open sores and pus. But don't you worry -- being an IT hack does have its perks. Those nice people at Network Associates will always send me a copy of their excellent anti-virus software if I ask them nicely enough. The best bit of all is that I won't have to pay a thing. And do you know what? They did send me a copy of McAfee VirusScan Platinum -- but it was out of date. It couldn't touch my nasty little infection. Using the anti-virus software they sent me was like rubbing butter on a pustule when what I needed was a good dose of antibiotics. So instead of clearing it up in half-an-hour I've spent most the day speaking to tech support and downloading mega files from the Net -- and I ain't happy. Not happy one bit. Still, it's all fixed now -- I hope. I should at least be grateful for that. I suppose I should be also thankful that I'm just a hack. After all, just imagine if this episode had happened to someone with a proper job, an important job -- could you imagine the trouble that would have caused? ®

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