Feeds

Rambus Opera goes live…

…with apologies to anyone, ever, anywhere, who sang about the Perons

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

3 Big data security analytics techniques

A kind reader has penned a song which he says should be sung to the song of "Don't cry for me Argentina". That's probably a copyright issue, so we'd prefer it be sung to the song of "Boiled Beef and Carrots", which is hopefully out of copyright by now. If not, how about "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" which definitely is... Here is how Don't cry for me Otellini goes: It won't be easy You'll think it strange When I try to explain how I failed That I still need your love after all that I've done You wouldn't believe me All you will see is a technology you once knew Although she's dressed up to the nines At 600 and 700mhz with Camino I had to let it happen I had to change Couldn't stay all my life down at heel Looking out of the window Staying out of the sun So I choose IPO Running around demanding licenses But nothing impressed me at all I never expected DDR too Don't cry for me Craig Barrett The truth is I never left you All through my wild days Trading at 250 times earnings My mad existence with licencees I kept my promise Don't consider DDR And as for fortune And as for fame I never invited them in Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired They are illusions 133mhz SDRAMs are not the solution they promised to be The answer was RDRAMs all along I love you and hope you love me Don't cry for me Intel... (Geoff Tate breaks down, the crowd takes up his tune) Don't cry for me Intel.... The truth is I never left you All through my wild days My mad existence I kept my promise Don't keep your distance Have I said too much? There is nothing more I can think of to say to you But all you have to do is look at me to know That every word is true See, we do have readers wiff a sense of humour. Please don't sue us, you know you'll lose... ®

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer
Do the right thing, earn up to 10 years in clink
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.