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Intel's Barrett's spoof diary

We imagine what he might write, if he was a journalist

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30 April 1999 Some bastard disturbed me in my cubicle while I was having a nap and said that punk cybertrash rag The Register is publishing lots of future information about our plans. Goddamn. Thought I'd taught them a lesson three years ago when I authorised Intel to sue them for breach of intellectual property. Called Dunlap. He said Brit law different from US law. Goddamn those limeys. Next time I'm in London I'll call Blair and tell him to change the laws. Albert Yu pops round to tell me that his mother is still complaining about our progress in copper interconnects. Sheesh. Why can't they leave me alone and let me get on selling those designer log cabins? 29 April 1999 Execution. That's obviously important. And the due processes. Especially here in Hong Kong, now part of the greater republic of China. Goddamn, ten years ago in Tianamen Square the Reds showed how they could kick butt. Just left Taipei in Taiwan, which is obviously a part of China too and watched Pat Gelsinger kicking butt and telling those motherboard people what they need to do. Be flexible, said Pat. He's got my entire support. Will fly to Korea again and talk to Samsung and try and tell them they are not executing well enough. Why does that benighted country still allow trade unions? Goddamn. Don't they realise that the price of a bullet in Hong Kong is that of a Celeron 466MHz part. That's what we call execution at Intel. You don't need thought police for that, just the due processes. Or processors. ®

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