Feeds

Silly email signature prizes awarded

We were under-whelmed with entries – please stop sending them

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

The Register has awarded two prizes for top explanations of the surreal signature "The tire (sic) is only flat on the bottom." The judges said they were particularly impressed with the number and quality of the entries. Or something like that. "Having to make a decision was incredibly difficult," said one judge. "So the pin came in very handy." One entry that caught the eye of the judges was Jason Ozin's response - regardless of whether it's true or not. "Just to put the record straight and close this thing once and for all," he wrote. "The expression in question was first penned by my uncle Albert around 1957. He sent it in to Readers Digest where it was published. I believe he was sent one Shilling. Uncle Albert tells me he has no idea what it means and doubts that he had at the time either.” “To give you some background - Uncle Albert keeps frogs. His best friend is a Bull Frog called Albert (yes I know) and Albert (the non-reptile one) has been institutionalised on at least four occasions in his life." Let’s hear it for uncle Albert. The judges also awarded Brent McGee a special prize for the most pseudo-intellectual reply of the bunch. "This is the existential difference between a pessimist and an optimist (AKA ‘the glass is half-full’ syndrome)," he wrote. "The pessimist would say: ‘Damn, I've got a flat tire!’ An optimist looks at the same useless piece of rubber and says: ‘No, only the bottom part of it is flat, most of it is still round!’ I would tend to steer clear of this person." Each will receive an exclusive limited edition Register pin. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations
Quick, call the Time Cops to sort out this paradox!
Musicians sue UK.gov over 'zero pay' copyright fix
Everyone else in Europe compensates us - why can't you?
Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME!
Now my lawyers have bailed 'cos I'm 'OFFICIALLY' BROKE
MI6 oversight report on Lee Rigby murder: US web giants offer 'safe haven for TERRORISM'
PM urged to 'prioritise issue' after Facebook hindsight find
BT said to have pulled patent-infringing boxes from DSL network
Take your license demand and stick it in your ASSIA
Right to be forgotten should apply to Google.com too: EU
And hey - no need to tell the website you've de-listed. That'll make it easier ...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
The total economic impact of Druva inSync
Examining the ROI enterprises may realize by implementing inSync, as they look to improve backup and recovery of endpoint data in a cost-effective manner.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.