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Cellnet chooses Bury for home of new call centre

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The cultural homeland of hotpot and tripe is to be blessed with 2000 jobs by mobile phone giant Cellnet. T’little-known Lancashire mill town of Bury, wi' a population of 182,000, has been chosen as the setting for a Cellnet call centre. Big wigs at the company seem to have adopted the philosophy that the local twang will be a real business asset. "We have done research into regional accents and we found customers like and trust the Lancastrian accent. They feel it is down-to-earth and emphatic," a Cellnet representative told today's Daily Mail. Never ones to miss such an opportunity, The Register has carried out its own research into the Bury dialect. The following phrases heard from the Cellnet helpdesk should be watched out for: Thaz a nose lahk a blind cobbler's thumb (Your nose is a funny shape) Thaz a face lahk a constipated bloodhound (Smile, please) Dust want a leather 'n' timber kiss? (How do you fancy a kick from my clog) Put wood i'th 'ole (Close the door) Perhaps Cellnet should consider sending out a phrasebook to its customers. ®

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