Feeds

Bart Simpson exposed as Melissa mastermind

Bad diet? Pallid complexion? It was obvious all along, really...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

Updated Chilling evidence of a connection between a cult cartoon series and the Melissa virus has emerged. The evil genius who brought email systems worldwide to a crunching halt, we can now reveal, may be none other than Bart Simpson. In its Melissa FAQ list CERT offers a tantalising hint: Q: "Are you aware of the connection between the Melissa virus and the television show The Simpsons?" A: "Yes." In true Network Nazi mode, CERT sticks to "I know something you don't know and I'm not telling," and goes no further. But although hackers may not know much about anything except hacking, one thing they do keep on their dance cards is The Simpsons. So over to comp.virus, where it is revealed: "The last five or so lines of code in the Melissa macro are: End If 'WORD/Melissa written by Kwyjibo 'Works in both Word 2000 and Word 97 'Worm? Macro Virus? Word 97 Virus? Word 2000 Virus? You Decide! 'Word -> Email | Word 97 <--> Word 2000 ... it's a new age! If Day(Now) = Minute(Now) Then Selection.TypeText " Twenty-two points, plus triple-word-score, plus fifty points for using all my letters. Game's over. I'm outta here." End Sub Says our helpful poster: "This is a quote of Bart Simpson. Melissa was the word he used to win a game of scrabble. Makes you wonder if the macro was really named after a stripper." Well of course it wasn't. Hackers don't have time to pick up the name of Bill Gates' wife (it's Melinda, not Melissa, but presumably these virus guys reckon it's close enough) or go out to lapdancing venues, they're very busy people. But they watch The Simpsons. Update Yup, they sure do. Our thanks to Cookie Hound for the following: The entire relevant section of this episode is as follows: Bart: Here we go. Kwyjibo [places his tiles] K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. Twenty-two points, plus triple-word-score, plus fifty points for using all my letters. Game's over. I'm outta here. [gets up] Homer: [grabs Bart with his left hand, holding a banana in his right] Wait a minute, you little cheater! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a kwyjibo is. Bart: Kwyjibo. Uh... a big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin. Marge: And a short temper. Homer: I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! [leaps for Bart] Bart: [making his escape] Uh oh. Kwyjibo on the loose! So there we have it, and now you know. I guess your poster was only half helpful. The Simpsons stuff comes from www.snpp.com/news.html, and if you post a correction, can I possibly have a name-check? The name-check's all yours, Mr Hound, sir. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment
'Nothing is going to change with Dr. Rice's appointment,' file sharer promises
Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray
High Fidelity Pure Audio – is this what your ears have been waiting for?
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED
Cook & Co. also pay more taxes than those four worthies PLUS eBay and Oracle
It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer
Do the right thing, earn up to 10 years in clink
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.