Nine loves of Bill Gates revealed

Sources tell us all

We've been meaning to write the book The Nine Loves of Bill Gates for at least nine years. Just never got round to it, so we thought we'd write the news story first, as a sort of taster for the full thing. Love One. This is when Bill introduced Windows for the first time in 1983, faced with tough competition from Digital Research. Love Two. This is when Bill introduced Windows for the second time in 1986, faced with tough competition from Digital Research. Love Three. This is when Bill introduced IBM Presentation Manager in 1987. Love Four. This is when Bill introduced the command line version of Microsoft OS/2 in 1988. Love Five. This is when Bill introduced the GUI on top but things started to fall apart. Love Six. This was in 1990, when Bill, rather confusingly, launched Windows 3.0, after his relationship with Big Blue collapsed. Love Seven. Bill realised that Windows 3.0 didn't work as well as he hyped, oops, hoped, so introduced Windows 3.1. Love Eight. Confusingly, Bill finds all sorts of odd code names including Cairo (but not Delphi) and Memphis. Love Nine. He starts talking about some Microsoft chick called Windows 98. Love Ten. He starts talking about something called Win2000. Conclusion? Bill loves Windows. ®

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