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IT firms still unprepared for Y2K news stories

Only 400 more days to get your Millennium Bug panic pieces written, warns editor

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Staff in Britain's IT departments were put on alert again today, following claims that the Y2K bug will outlast the turn of the century and continue to provoke the media to churn out panic stories for the next 1000 years of human history. According to almost daily reports in all the leading IT papers and Web sites, companies remain totally unprepared for the switch from 1999 to 2000, despite the millions they have spent on upgrades and fixes. "We have spent thousands of dollars on special Y2K news sections and dedicated reporters, yet it's quite clear that IT departments are continuing to ignore news stories regarding the Y2K problem," said a spokesman for a famous newswire. "They may be sick to death of Millennium Bug panics, but it's our duty to continue filling column inches. Think of what might happen if we don't..." Latest stories include the anticipated collapse of all of Britain's jam factories. "Alarm clocks will also be affected," claimed one pundit, "so most Britons will fail to get up on time on the day after the Millennium celebrations." Overseas, one US site predicted the bug will hit the world's infrastructure six weeks ahead of 1 Jan 2000: "Today's microprocessors running many times faster than those of the early 80s. The cumulative increase in performance from, say, a 3KHz Motorola 6809 to a 350MHz Intel Pentium II means computers will think the Millenium has arrived weeks before it actually has." "Fortunately," the report continues, "because of the direction of rotation of the globe, the Japanese and Ruskies are going to get it in the neck a full 12 hours before we do..." ®

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