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Doh! Homer Simpson sells out to Satanic Intel

Brain upgrade plan a very worrying development

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The Great Satan of Chips has lured Homer Simpson into one of its secret skunk operations and will "upgrade" his brain, the company said today. Simpson, who has in the past criticised both Intel and Microsoft, is to receive the ultimate insult to his IQ. This is all very intriguing. At the Intel Developer Forum some weeks ago, which The Register attended, a very senior Intel architect said that even given Moore's Law, Intel chips will not be able to deliver the power of the brain of a bumble-bee by the year 2012. According to Satanic sources, an advertisement which Intel will run on 8 November will show a perfectly good brain destroyed by corrupt surgeons. They will replace Homer's brain with a Pentium II complete with waffles and baffles. There are different kinds of intelligence, and the boffins at Intel are assuming in their advert that Homer is stupid. Simpsons creator Matt Groening said he was now several million dollars richer. Anyone who criticises both Intel and Microsoft cannot be that dumb. ® Click for more stories Click for story index

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