Feeds

Doh! Homer Simpson sells out to Satanic Intel

Brain upgrade plan a very worrying development

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

The Great Satan of Chips has lured Homer Simpson into one of its secret skunk operations and will "upgrade" his brain, the company said today. Simpson, who has in the past criticised both Intel and Microsoft, is to receive the ultimate insult to his IQ. This is all very intriguing. At the Intel Developer Forum some weeks ago, which The Register attended, a very senior Intel architect said that even given Moore's Law, Intel chips will not be able to deliver the power of the brain of a bumble-bee by the year 2012. According to Satanic sources, an advertisement which Intel will run on 8 November will show a perfectly good brain destroyed by corrupt surgeons. They will replace Homer's brain with a Pentium II complete with waffles and baffles. There are different kinds of intelligence, and the boffins at Intel are assuming in their advert that Homer is stupid. Simpsons creator Matt Groening said he was now several million dollars richer. Anyone who criticises both Intel and Microsoft cannot be that dumb. ® Click for more stories Click for story index

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Simplify SSL certificate management across the enterprise
Simple steps to take control of SSL across the enterprise, and recommendations for a management platform for full visibility and single-point of control for these Certificates.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.