Feeds

Larry's wild about… most things

intro

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Yahoo has been all over the place in the last week and has lost countries, too. Last week, Yahoo lost Israel, Japan and South Korea. There aren't any newspapers according to the famous site, in North Korea, but we're wondering which country will be next...Bulgaria?

A PR deep throat calls with an amusing, and we trust, entirely inaccurate, tale about the status of Oracle's public relations. A few months back thee incumbents in the US were fired in favour of a large, expensive and global PR outfit. Silence descended on the Big O's marketing machine, and Larry Ellison grew crosser and crosser. In what our informant describes puzzlingly as a 'water glass throwing frenzy,' Larry detonated. "Get rid of these guys," he shrieked at his minions. "Hire the old guys again!" The minions duly called up the old guys and said, "OK, you're hired again." Said the old guys, "No we're not. We think you're horrible and we don't want to work for you." Big problem for minions. Larry has spoken, and will brook no opposition. And we need a PR outfit now, as we just fired the new guys. So an embassy is, unbeknownst to Larry, sent to the old guys to beg for mercy. Grievances are listed, undertakings to be much nicer in future are given, bodies fall from Oracle's HQ windows, and the old guys graciously agree to come back. Now the minions just have to stop Larry being nasty to them.

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)
Clampdown on clickbait ... and El Reg is OK with this
No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate
Some assignments, even the Bongster decline must
Caught red-handed: UK cops, PCSOs, specials behaving badly… on social media
No Mr Fuzz, don't ask a crime victim to be your pal on Facebook
Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please
Novelslab finally on sale with ($199 - $20) price tag
Ballmer leaves Microsoft board to spend more time with his b-balls
From Clippy to Clippers: Hi, I see you're running an NBA team now ...
Banking apps: Handy, can grab all your money... and RIDDLED with coding flaws
Yep, that one place you'd hoped you wouldn't find 'em
Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media
Yanked footage featured British-accented attacker and US journo James Foley
Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio
Activision Blizzard might like quality control of a CoD film
Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'
I have to know. I have to find out what happened to my life
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.