Pat ‘Kicking’ Gelsinger gives Register massage

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Disaffected employee 1: Credit Lyonnais O For three glorious days last week, anyone who linked into www.credit-Lyonnais.com saw a picture of a naked woman and a speech bubble ("I like Arab men...take me now").

Most peculiar. News of Credit-Lyonnais' innovative approach to financial services went around the City like wildfire - And even The Register got to have a gander on Thursday, the last day the picture was in operation. By Friday, the site had changed to some boring old Linux installation message.

A former employee of Credit-Lyonnais is blamed for linking the company's name to what looked like the front page of a porn site. Which just goes to show, you can never be too nice to your staff.

Here's one for all our blind readers. Kurzweil Education Systems International is a winner of the "$150,000 SAP/Stevie Wonder Vision Award for Product of theYear"

No doubt you recall the cheese grater Stevie Wonder got for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read. We literalists think that Stevie Wonder and Vision have as much in common as say Steven Hawkings and the 100 metres hurdles. Did no one at SAP think of this?

Wanna buy a mobile phone? If you try and buy one in the UK, it's a tariff nightmare. Not so in the USA where we noticed that all you had to do was to put money into a vending machine and you got one...

Leaving LAX was like entering LAX except that the security distaff had got rid of her scanning device and instead was asking people with notebooks to switch 'em on...Roll on Comdex/Fall

It's hot in Palm Springs. The average temperature during the day was 110 degrees. But the bars spray you with mist. The local cab driver tells us there's enough water to last another 50 years...

So when we met Albert Yu we were going to ask him why Intel had booked Palm Springs for the Intel Developer Forum for the next five years. But he volunteered the information before we could ask. "You might ask why Intel's in Palm Springs," he said. "The answer is, it's cheap...

The convention centre might be cheap but the drinks ain't. Two hacks were amazed to be charged $8.95 for a burger and $12 for a rum and coke. One of the British hax dared to ask Pat Gelsinger if he would pay $12 for a rum and coke. "No I wouldn't," he said.

And if you use an Intel meal voucher to pay beware of the Food Police. At the sort of brand newish Wayward Hotel, a party of 12 assorted hax and intelleers attempted to pay for their food with the precious documents, only to have a representative of the hotel arrive and harangue everyone at the table. Makes you feel old...

There isn't much to do in Palm Springs unless you play golf or want to get roasted in temperatures of 110 degrees plus. On our first day there, a roadrunner narrowly escaped death on busy Taquitz Drive by exceeding its speed limit of 20 miles an hour. In local paper The Desert Sun two days later, we read that everyone wondered where the roadrunners went in winter (average temperature 75 degrees F). The answer, apparently, is that they hibernate...

When The Register arrived back in Blighty, it was with some amazement we read that on Thursday last week, someone released 8,000 minks into the wild (passim). And you thought the silly season was over and done with...

We were sorry to have missed Steve "Softmodem" Nachtsheim's speech. Indeed, the only reason we knew he had delivered one was because the evaluation forms said he had. No-one else saw it either. We wonder what it was all about

Regular readers of this esteemed organ will remember that Pat Gelsinger kicked a staffer at Comdex last year. Twice. Well, everything's changed. Dining with Pat at Mama Gina's in Palm Spring last night, the boy did good. Admittedly he had thumped the staffer twice on the arm -- quite hard -- before dinner. But on sitting down, Pat must have had a change of heart and gave the staffer a rather good massage...Hmmm

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