Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Hellp meee

Weekend Edition 20 Sep 08:00

ISPs' post-net-neutrality world is built on 'bribes' says Tim Berners-Lee

Father of the worldwide web is extremely peeved over pay-per-packet-type plans

Networks 20 Sep 03:58

Apple's warrant canary riddle: Cock-up, conspiracy, or anti-Google point-scoring

Analysis Please pick one, Tim

Security 20 Sep 03:34

Oh you crazy Frenchies. Iliad won't take no for an answer from T-Mob US

S'il vous plaît bébé, c'est mon anniversaire

Mobile 20 Sep 00:38

Want a Tizen phone to build apps for? Now's your chance – provided you don't need it to work

Outdated handsets that can't make calls can be YOURS

Phones 19 Sep 22:09

Yahoo! Made! $8bn! In! One! Day! And! You'll! Easily! Guess! How!

Plenty o' grog to drink from all thar Alibaba booty

Business 19 Sep 21:48

Pop open this iPhone 6 and see where the magic comes from ... oh hello again, Qualcomm

Teardown New speaking slabs blown to smithereens

Phones 19 Sep 21:05

Lumia rebrand begins: Nokia's new UK web home is Microsoft.com

Yarr, them Nokia logos walking the plank and into the drink

Phones 19 Sep 19:43

Hazelcast trousers cash, poises open-source cutlass against Exadata belly

Do ya feel Luck-y, punk?

Storage 19 Sep 17:03

Alien condoms. Stuck to the wall. That's entirely normal, y'know

100% Design And 3D printed model houses, because they're awesome

Weekend Edition 19 Sep 16:28

India vs America: Earthling invaders in race to MARS

MAVEN and MOM neck and neck in plunge toward red world

Science 19 Sep 15:56

Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed

Remastered so hard it would be difficult or impossible to master it again

Media 19 Sep 15:35

Joan Rivers promotes iPhone 6 from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Deceased comedienne loving the new fondlephab

Weekend Edition 19 Sep 15:20

You - vendor. Pin your ears back, I've got some things to tell you

Storagebod No, there is no coffee and you may not sit down. Notebooks out

Storage 19 Sep 14:26

Divinity Original Sin and Wasteland 2 reviews: Turn-based gaming's NOT DEAD YET!

Game Theory Kickstarter funded fun-packed thrills

Games 19 Sep 13:31

Buying memory in the iPhone 6: Like wiping your bottom with dollar bills

Anal-ysis Mind, t'Motorola StarTac were like GOLD

Phones 19 Sep 12:59

Register man goes from back to front of iPHONE 6 queue in 60 SECONDS

Vid Arr, he'm used t'magic o' fast forrard, d'ye see

Phones 19 Sep 12:45


Competition Reg staff not allowed to enter, god dammit

Weekend Edition 19 Sep 12:30

Blood-crazed Microsoft axes Trustworthy Computing Group

Security be not a dirty word, me Satya. But crevice, bigod...

Security 19 Sep 12:02

Bacon-related medical breakthrough wins Ig Nobel prize

Is there ANYTHING cured pork can't do?

Science 19 Sep 11:39

Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate

100% Design Belay that toil, me hearty, and park your scurvy backside

Hardware 19 Sep 11:21

iPhone 6: The final straw for Android makers eaten alive by the data parasite?

Analysis Arr, makin' spy kit fer Google, a mug's game matey

Phones 19 Sep 10:57

TOR users become FBI's No.1 hacking target after legal power grab

Be afeared, me hearties, these scoundrels be spying our signals

Security 19 Sep 10:03

Plucky Playmonaut parties as LOHAN hits Kickstarter goal

Bring on the wenches'n'mead, set course for New Mexico

SPB 19 Sep 09:27

Open source and the NHS: Two huge disorganised entities without central control

Nay dragons here, me lad - these be long lost lovers

Software 19 Sep 09:04

Russian botnet suspects cuffed over romantic MMS spyware allegs

Avast! Belay that 'RomanticVK' order - there be MONSTERS

Security 19 Sep 08:32

Object Storage Alliance launched. Problem: 3 vendors haven't joined

See here, me IBM mateys, why d'ye languish with these scurvy curs?

Storage 19 Sep 08:03

Google Apple grapple brings crypto cop block to Android

Belike tears of joy to this old seadog's eyes, lad

Security 19 Sep 07:25

Who's that at the door, storage box flingers? It's the hard drive makers. No, they are not smiling

Analysis Nice treasure chest ye have there. Shame if it fell overboard

Storage 19 Sep 07:04

Stray positrons caught on ISS hint at DARK MATTER source

Landlubber scope-gazers squint to horizons and see anti-electron count surge

Science 19 Sep 06:29

Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us

Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report

Bootnotes 19 Sep 06:01

Monitors monitor's monitoring finds touch screens have 0.4% market share

Not four. Point four. Count yer booty again, Microsoft

Hardware 19 Sep 05:31

Why Oracle CEO Larry Ellison had to go ... Except he hasn't

Analysis Silicon Valley's veteran seadog in piratical Putin impression

Business 19 Sep 05:03

Bloke buys iPHONE 6 and DROPS IT to SMASH on PURPOSE

First Crack Yarrrgh! 'Tis Antipodean insanity, ye crazy swab

Phones 19 Sep 04:41

Gigantic bazaar Alibaba WILL turn share price up to 11, er, $68 for biggest IPO ever in US

Hopeful cap'ns seek PILES O'DOUBLOONS in NYSE debut

Business 19 Sep 04:01

Samsung unlocks Knox at zero bucks

The race to zero in the mobile device management market has begun

Security 19 Sep 03:03

Register journo battles Sydney iPHONE queue, FONDLES BIG 'UN

First Fondle Swollen queue suggests bumper Fruitchomp Friday

Phones 19 Sep 00:09

Home Depot: 56 million bank cards pwned by malware in our tills

That's about 50 per cent bigger than the Target tills mega-hack

Security 18 Sep 22:39

First day of Hurd'n'Catz at Oracle: It's dis-fur-pointing for Wall St

Database giant still not feline the love in new hardware and software sales

Financial News 18 Sep 22:26

Oracle's Larry Ellison quits as CEO – new bosses are Hurd'n'Catz

Larry to spend more time with his, er, in his CTO chair

Business 18 Sep 20:30

Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

Round 2 of layoffs sees jobs cut company-wide

Business 18 Sep 19:27

Does this float your boat? Dead Steve Jobs to hijack yachts from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Is there nothing the Apple biz tyrant can't do?

Bootnotes 18 Sep 19:13

Students playing with impressive racks? Yes, it's cluster comp time

HPC blog The most comprehensive coverage the world has ever seen. Ever

HPC 18 Sep 16:29

Ten years on, TEN PER CENT of retailers aren't obeying CAN-SPAM

Unscrupulous marketers are, guess what, still being gits

Law 18 Sep 15:56

Snowden's NSA leaks have galvanised the storage world

Vendors raise their game after gov securo-busting revealed

Security 18 Sep 15:33

Copyright thieves' cyberlockers slurp MILLIONS from honest creators, study finds

Offshore chop shops make merry from movies and pr0n

Law 18 Sep 15:03

Damien Hirst, eat your heart out - these guys chop up TAXIS

100% Design Half a car stuck to your wall is this season's must-have accessory, darling

Hardware 18 Sep 14:04

Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

Bad news for tech-addicted fanbois behind the wheel

Law 18 Sep 12:59

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